Today, we got the results back from last week's needle biopsy. It's now "official"--the appendiceal adenocarcinoma that originated in my "Benedict Arnold" appendix has metastasized! Cells that were consistent with the appendiceal adenocarcinoma cells found in the biopsies from my colonoscopy (performed at Memorial Hermann Hospital on November 29, 2010) -- were also found in one of the 1 cubic centimeter (1 cc = 1 milliliter = 1 ml) "nodules" identified in my latest computerized tomography (CT) x-ray scan from December 13, 2010! As I wrote (on Skype) to the Contessa (yes, the Countess herself, the very same woman I was briefly engaged to for a few months over 26 years ago, when I was in graduate school at the Rockefeller University and had gone to a physics summer school in Erice, Sicily, despite the fact that I had no money -- "If you had no money, how could you want to get married?" -- and the fact that she had trouble remembering my name -- "I'm so sorry I forgot your name!"!):
Will Rogers may well have never met a man he didn't like, but I've certainly met a metastatic appendiceal adenocarcinoma that I don't like at all! Please pray for my wife, Caroline--she has a big job interview coming up at the University of Houston this coming Friday afternoon!
Francesca, Happy New Year to you all! We met with my GI (colorectal) oncologist, Dr. Imad Shureiqi, to get the results from last week's needle biopsy and he confirmed what I'd expected for a while (ever since we learned from the CT scan that there were 1 cc "nodules" on my peritoneum), that the appendix cancer had metastasized and spread into at least the peritoneum! Bummer! But, at least we know for sure what we're up against, so we can go after it with everything at our disposal! I finally start my chemo treatments this coming Friday morning, at 8:30AM! I'll go in every other week for a total of 4 treatments in 8 weeks and then we'll take another CT scan to see whether or not the chemo has reduced the cancer any! If so, we might then opt for surgery to cut out every tumor they can find in my gut and then apply a warm chemo bath directly onto my peritoneum! If not, we can change to a different type of chemo until we find one that kills the tumors more effectively than it kills me! It's a very good sign that there don't appear to be any tumors anywhere outside of my peritoneum--all my other vital organs (heart, brain, liver, lungs, kidneys, pancreas, spleen, stomach, etc.) are tumor-free! So, I'm still very optimistic about my prospects and my prognosis--I'm relatively young (52.9 years old!), in relatively good health (other than my appendix cancer and my left arm!), we've fortuitously discovered the tumor fairly early on (thanks to my mysterious bleeding in November!), I'm at one of the best cancer hospitals in the world where many 100's of
people have been successfully treated for very rare appendix cancers, and I have so many wonderful friends and family members who are all praying fervently for my healing and wholeness and well-being--I can actually feel myself being lifted up by all the prayers and genuine, sincere concerns of others--lots of good karma! And, if worse comes to worst, at least Caroline and I had the good sense (actually, it was mostly Caroline's good sense!) to take out a large life insurance policy on me--at least she will be provided for, to some degree (to her credit, she tells me that she'd rather have me, with all my faults and failings, than the money)! Nobody lives forever here on good old planet Earth and we all have to go at some time or other and I've had a very good and very blessed life so far, already having lived to a ripe old age compared to most human beings who have lived on Earth for the past 40,000 years or so! Not that I'm at all ready to die and be no more (I can't even begin to get my mind around that concept of nothingness!), I'm quite happy to live as long as possible, continuing to love and learn and suck the marrow out of the bones of life here on Earth! But, I am at peace at the core of my being, quite convinced, in the very marrow of my bones, that the Universe is profoundly empty of insignificance and meaninglessness--the Buddha was right that we are all living in a state of perfection right now, just as we are! I do find myself appreciating each passing moment more than I ever did before--how awesomely precious is each inspirational breath and each beat of our hearts!--I offer up quick prayers of thanksgiving for all of
them! I freely admit that I love life more than I can ever know! I have no recollection of who or what or where or when or why I was before I was ever born and I likewise have no idea or conception of who or what or where or when or why I will be after I am no more (although I sincerely doubt whether 70 virgins will be involved, I believe, and am extremely encouraged and heartened by, the words of Jesus on the cross to the "penitent thief," according to Luke 23:43, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise!"!)! To some extent, I will live on in the memories and hearts of those who have known and loved me, whom I also have known and loved--I don't think any amount of love is ever lost or wasted or for naught! Some of my genes will undoubtedly live on and be passed down from generation to generation through my blood relative nieces and nephews (since I share a fair number of my genes with my blood sister and blood brother, all of us having descended from the same blood parents and blood grandparents, etc., etc.!)! Ineluctably and indescribably, subatomic quantum entanglements will always bind every bit of my mass-energy with that of everyone else and everything else in the Universe! Who knows, maybe even a few of my original thoughts and creations will survive into the mists of the ages! Whatever! Ciao for niao! Randall
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